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MasterPieceintheMaking: November 2005

Monday, November 28, 2005

We Need a Hero

I told some of you that I was writting a paper about Christ as the hero. Well Here it is, what do you think?
We all have heroes, or want them. Every culture has heroes. Stories, written or oral, chronicle their lives and adventures. We look for them everywhere; the firefighter that risks his life for another, the little boy that helps a kitten out of a tree, even the family dog that attacks an intruder. When we have heroes, we worship them, when we don’t have them we create them. Why, because we have a Messiah-shaped hole in our hearts. We have an inherent need for heroes, those better-than-average-good guys who defeat the villains, protect the weak and give us hope that we can be more. We long for someone to come and save us from the ugliness around us. We were created with a need to be saved. It was built into us. Jesus of Nazareth is the mold from which all heroes are cast and the only one deserving of such a title as “hero.”
Everyone knows what makes a hero, even young children can tell you. Universally heroes are strong, compassionate, faithful, courageous, stead fast and true to their cause. They are leaders who impact our lives. They impact our lives by giving us a vision of what we could become. They inspire to rise above our selves, our fears, and our acceptance of the mundane. The Scots were arrayed for battle, outnumbered, facing the English army (an army they had never beaten). All were ready to take flight. Common sense told them there was no hope for victory, that to stay and fight would surly mean death. William Wallace faces the Scots with passion for his country and freedom burning in his voice. He appeals to those hero qualities that lie dormant in all men’s hearts. He imparts to them a vision of glory. He makes them to see his vision of what they can be and what they can make Scotland to be. Like wise, in Shakespeare’s description of Henry the V, we see the outnumbered English forces awaiting attack by the superior French army. Henry rouses his troops by weight of his personality, because they trust him. He describes to his men, how the poor, unfortunate souls that stayed behind in their safe beds, will hang their heads in shame, thinking themselves less because they were not there that day. As he speaks they begin to believe even if they lose, their deaths will still serve England. Inspired by Henry, they believe that they will be remembered as heroes, and they must have even thought to themselves “If King Harry believes in us, then we can do anything.” In both cases the outnumbered armies that didn’t have a chance, won a great victory! The reason that Hollywood and Shakespeare retell these stories to us is because they resonate with in us. They speak to our need for life to mean something, for passion in our lives, and to our desire to make a difference. Move then to first century Palestine, a small, demoralized band hides in fear from the authorities. At this point their only desire is to escape and try to return to a normal life. Within a generation, this small band spreads a message from Rome to Ethiopia that will forever transform the world. Even those who disbelieve the message are forced to admit as did William Lecky, a noted opponent of organized Christianity and one of Great Britain’s most renowned historians, that “The simple record of these three short years of active life has done more to regenerate and soften mankind than all the disquisition of philosophers and all the exhortations of moralists.” Just as heroes Wallace and Henry inspired their men to fight a hopeless battle and win, so did Jesus. And for a Christian, these battles in Scotland and in France shrink to insignificance in comparison to the battle for mankind’s salvation that Christ calls us to fight. While Wallace inspires the Scots and Henry fires the imagination of the English, Jesus speaks to all mankind. While their campaigns were limited in time and space, his is universal. He sets the standard for the heroic.

So why have I singled out Jesus as someone uniquely different? If what makes an individual a hero, is their impact on mankind, then surly Jesus has made the most unique impact in all of history. His teachings were like that of no other, his life was like no one before or since. He showed love to the unlovable, compassion to the untouchable, healed the sick of body and heart, brought the dead to life, and to top it all off, he endured, mockery, abandonment, disgrace, unbelievable torture and a most horrible death by crucifixion. When a word would have saved his life, he chose to stand silent. Even the skeptic and antagonist of Christianity John Stuart Mill, could not deny Jesus’ uniqueness and referred to him as “The greatest moral reformer and martyr to that mission who ever existed upon earth.” Returning again to William Lecky, we find another skeptic acknowledging Jesus’ unique impact, when he tells us, “It was reserved for Christianity to present to the world an ideal character which through all the changes of eighteen centuries has inspired the hearts of men with an impassioned love; has shown itself capable of acting on all ages, nations, temperaments, and conditions; has been not only the highest pattern of virtue, but the strongest incentive to its practice.” While other heroes have impacted mankind, that impact has been largely limited to a time, a people, a place. As Lecky has just told us Jesus reaches beyond these limitations to move the heart’s of mankind. We should not be surprised that Jesus’ impact was as profound as it was. Jesus always was and is the standard by which we define what a hero is. We look for those characteristics in humans that Jesus modeled and when we find an individual with some of those qualities we call that person a hero. Jesus is not merely a hero, his is the definition and the source of all those traits we call heroic, he is as I’ve said, unique. “I know men; and I tell you that Jesus Christ is not a man. Superficial minds see a resemblance between Christ and the founders of empires, and the gods of other religions. That resemblance does not exist...Between Him and whoever else in the world, there is no possible term of comparison. He is truly a being by Himself. His ideas and sentiments, the truth which he announces, His manner of convincing, are not explained either by human organization or by the nature of things...I search in vain in history to find the similar to Jesus Christ.” Napoleon Bonaparte
We have a need for heroes. Admitted or not we are all searching for one to follow if we haven’t found one already. This is why we respond so strongly to stories like “Braveheart”. We are looking to fill that Messiah shaped hole. Because of Christ’s uniqueness I have come to the conclusion that He is the only one that can fill that empty space. As with any hero you can choose to follow Him or not, but you cannot simply dismiss Him. Look through history yourself; see the impact He has made, compare it to that of mere human heroes and you decide which hero you are going to follow.

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

Thanks! :)

Thankyou all so much for your love and advice. You don't know how much it means to me. Thank you Lord so much for the people in my live, for the love and mercy!! I am feeling a MILLION times better because of God and you all being there for me and just loveing on me.
You all are such a blessing!!
I love you all sooooo much!

God is good!

on another note, got family here and more coming, so you won't see much of me of awhile. Love ya'll!

Sunday, November 20, 2005

attack...

Been under attack lately. Past three days or so. satan is trying lots of different angles, all of them hurt like hell. no pun. I can't think of anything that I did that would tick him off enough to be this mean. I can think of some things I've done that would get him off my back though. One thing, I'm not sure is bad, but I don't know if it's good either. I've prayed for God to show me what He thinks, but I don't know. I can't tell if it's that God isn't bothered by it, or if it's that I'm push the true answer away, because I like it. So satan is useing that too, and I'm wearing thin. I feel drained, and confused, angry at myself that I can't figure this out, and frustrated.
I took it out on Eric, just by being negative and snappy.(I'm sorry Eric) And I'm ashamed of all of it. I want to crawl up it a whole and hide. But other than this one confusing thing, I have nothing to be upset about so I know this is an attack. Please just pray for me and my sanity. ;)

GAHHHH! more depressing crap!!! Sorry. I should be happy! And so should all of you!...yeah.
God is GOOD! GOD has me in the palm of his hand! I AM SAFE! so whats the deal? Eric says I question God too much. Maybe I do. Maybe that's why I've been in such a funk. I don't know. *negative thought warning* maybe I'm just stupid and can't get anything right as a result.

Thursday, November 17, 2005

God's time

Yesturday Eric and I didn't go to youth group, and as much as I missed it, we had a really good time just being with God and eachother. We prayed that God would speak to us it that time together, and that he would use it. Then we read about Jesus's death, kinda going back the basics as it were. I think we need that though, to get back to the beinging. Then we watched The Passion! I cried through the whole thing! It was soooo powerful, and what was even more powerful was to understand with all of my mind and heart, that He did it for me! For everyone! That He loved us enough to endure all of that for us so that we wouldn't have to and so we would be free! It's overwhelming, the joy and love I feel!
~God I PRAISE you!!! For this time that you have given us to be with you, the work that you are doing in us, the love you have for us to even talk to us much less make us better! And for the sacrfice that you made and all that you endured just so we could be with you forever! THANKYOU Lord, Father, Daddy!! I Love you and praise your holy name! Only you are worthy!! AMEN!!

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

Time off

For a long time I have been wanting to spend some time with Eric and God, just the three of us. Either in reading the bible, praying or some form of worship. I think I might have mentioned it once or twice, but I always felt silly for wanting this, so I kept quite about it most of the time. Besides when would be ever have the time? I tried to forget about it, but the need just kept getting stronger. So I prayed about it. God I want this. Please give us the time, energy and hunger for it. I figuered that I was going to have to make time, and convice Eric that we needed this. So by last night I had finally worked up the nerve to demand this of him. I chickened out alittle when I got to his house though, and kept putting it off. I had brought my bible and everything, I just couldn't seem to tell Eric what I wanted. So as it got later and later Luke said goodnight and went to his room...for about 2 seconds then came bounding back in with a look of defeat on his face. He threw himself down on Eric's bed and whined that he needed to talk to us, that he couldn't sleep til he had. "Long story medium length", he told us that God had put on his heart to give Eric and I time off of youth group duty to spend that time together with God. I was so relived. Some heavy weight had just been taken off my heart. Don't get me wrong, I love youth group and working with the kids, and I will miss them all terriblely untill we return, but this is something I know we need and that God has been asking for for a long time.
So when we aren't there Wednesday, you'll know why. We will miss you all and that time with you very much! We'll be thinking about you.

I have such a nervous excitment in me about tonight, it will be our first Wednesday to ourselfs, I don't know what to think. I don't know what will happen, but it feels like first date or something, I'm so nervous! but in a good way!

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

God, paint and too much time


I've started a new painting... finally! I miss painting soo much 8P Maybe I'll post pictures of it when I'm done.... or I'll just leave ya'll hanging. heh. I have paint all over my hands! *big dum smile of happiness* If I had a tail, I'd wag it. :) It was snowing today...I love snow! *jumps about* I think that's all I have to say for now.

Oh, Luke, I read my bible today! yay for me.
Eric, I LOVE you! *big dum smile of happiness agian*
Every one else...heh...I love you too!

Friday, November 11, 2005

Slack

You'll never believe this, but my parents decided to lift my curfew! meaning no curfew at all! The told me that they thought I was old enough to be responsible for myself in that way. They gave me a long list of things to follow in order to keep my slack in the leash, but they gave it to me! I think this will make things easier in general.
PRAISE GOD!!!!! HE IS GOOD!!

Thursday, November 10, 2005

Struggles, Dreams and School Projects

Lets see... where to start? From the begining is usaully good.

I had a very weird and frightening dream a few nights back. I had died, I didn't dream my death, I was just dead. I wasn't afriad, I knew where I was going and I was perfectly safe, but I had some goodbuys that I wanted to make before I went home. I went to go see my parents and Eric, they were all very upset, mom was so angry, dad was beyond words, and Eric didn't want to stay he wanted to leave, he said he couldn't stay there. I "walked" in to all of this and wanted so badly to heal them, to tell them it would all be ok, that I was fine and still loved them, but they couldn't see me, nor could they hear me. It was like a blow to the heart, here were my loved ones in pain, and I could do nothing for them, I couldn't even touch them! I started to cry. I had to try something though, so I went and sat behind my mom and spoke in to her ear, I asked her questions and told her things, she responed like she could hear me, but she was so full of anger it stabbed me. I remember looking for Eric next, but he was gone, he had left to go to his parents home, I think. I was crusted, I never got a chance to say goodbuy. And I didn't want to let go! I didn't care about the world, and I wasn't afriad of where I was going, but I couldn't leave my loved ones behind. It wasn't fair! I wanted them too! I wanted them to come with me, to be with me! And I couldn't have them! I awoke very upset. writing this even now makes me start to cry.

I've been stuggleing with somethings for awhile now, I think that is why I have had such a rough time of it. I'm trying to seek God in all of this and to keep my mind on HIM, but it is so hard sometimes and frustrateing that I want to break something or curl up in to a ball and cry. I haven't been handling it well, sometimes I even take it out on Eric, and that kills me, it's isn't his fault, and it isn't fair to him. I'm so sorry. Please pray for me, I need grace and strength and God's love so badly right now.

I'm working on a project or Comp 2. we have to pick a hero and write some stuff on that person, So I'm writing about Christ. The only one ever diserving of the title "hero". My teacher won't like this I know, but I couln't care less if I tried. I just pray that God uses this for His glory!

Love all,
-Kim

Tuesday, November 01, 2005

Light at the end of the tunnel

Yesturday I was really struggling, well you read the last post. I went out to eat with my mom, she and I talked, and I felt alittle better. Thanks mom. But I really needed to get out of the house and be with folks my age group, Eric was working, and so was Luke, the slackers, and I couldn't seem to get in touch with anyone. So I decided to do something rather out of character for me, and was just what I needed, I went up to St. Mary's to see if anyone was there; by myself. Lucky for me Jube and Melissa were there, they took me in and folded me into thier plans for the evening seamlessly. We didn't do much, just talked and watched South Park, but by the time a drug myself out of there and to my car, I was worlds better. Thanks Jube for being there for me.
This morning I was still under attack, I could hardly get out of bed, but I had strength enough to realize that I needed God big time. So I prayed alittle, and got ready for school. I got in the car and instead of my regular cup of country or classic rock to wake me up, I popped in 12 Stones and sang along. I got to the campus and parked in the usually spot, but was still in need of a strong dose of God. I couldn't feel Him and He wasn't showing up as I thought of Him like He normally does, so I knew I had to go after Him. The one way I knew how to do that was the bible. I must confess I haven't been reading it for awhile or praying for that matter. I didn't know where to start, so I called Luke and asked him what that verse was he wanted me to read, then out of the blue he asked how I was doing. I told him the truth. And then he prayed for me; alittle more strength. Thanks Luke. After we hung up, I started to read, first that verse, then I found myself in palsms reading psalm 143. How I got there I don't know, but it fit so well with what I was feeling that I went back through and prayed it. I began to feel Him agian, like a limb that had gone numb with cold, but was slowing warming up and coming back to life. I felt tears run down my face, as I went from that prayer to one of my own. I was ravenous for more, I got a taste of Him, and it was like I had gone for years with out water and finally got a sip of it agian! I read the palsms around the one I had just read, they were similar enough to fit what I needed, and I devoured them. I could feel His love flowing through me and reviving my starved soul.
Through all of this, I realized that even if we "lose" Him, God has put bread crubs out for us to lead us back; a friend here and a verse there. He has surrounded me with things or people to help lead me back to Him. And when I lifted my nose from the trail, there was the light at the end of the tunnel and His smiling face. Thankyou Lord!