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Friday, July 28, 2006

Holy Spirit

Sunday, July 02, 2006

Up-hill battle for Love

Been fighting an up-hill battle, the slope is slick with blood soaked mud, and the gale winds beat agianst my chest and face. Demons whisper tempting things; it would be so easy to just sit down. I'm so tired. My soul and body ache, my heart is heavy. I slip agian; flailing I reach for a hand hold only to find weak earth that gives under my weight. I tubble. When I come to and look up, the climb seems impossible to make. I have no strength left. I reach for God trying to find Him, feel Him but I can't. I know in my heart that I've fallen too far. My heart breaks and my soul freezes over with fear; He will not come for me agian, not agian. I've been here too many times. But the need for Him is painful, like the withdrawals of an addict. I throw my hand out hoping He will take it, and find myself allow still. The pain is so great and the fear so strong, I cry out, but hear no reply. I begin to believe that it is too late for me, I am done. I will die here alone. I know not what else to do. I try to crawl upward, but I'm too battered from the fall. My hope starts to die. I have failed. He could not still love me, nor want me, not fallen and dirty like this. I don't want to give up, the need for Him is to great; like a drowing person needs air. As my fears begin to take hold of me, I cry out again, reaching, seeking someone who can help me, who will know what to do.
A hand takes hold of mine, and helps me to sit up. God's fire burns bright through this one as he speaks of the Father's undieing love for all, even for me. He wipes the mud from my face and points to the top of the hill. He tells me I am not alone; that God was always with me, that I could not feel Him because I would not allow myself. I did not believe that I diserved to. He shows me that the beauty of God's love and Gift, is that we do not have to, nor can we, earn it. It is a gift, pure and simple. I weep with shame and saddness, but I feel God being to fill me like warm water as I ask for Him and let go. I feel Christ's scarred hand take mine and pull me to my feet. The mud is washed away with less than a thought from Him. I feel the fire agian in my soul, as a smile crosses the friend's face. My friend is a broken warrior like me; his years of battle are more and his love for God is strong. I know that God used him to show love to me.
With God's strength anew in my limbs and heart, my friend and I begin the up-hill battle once more, for a Love like we have never known, a Love we cannot live without. A Love that will save us all.
God will always love you, never give up on Him, He won't give up on you.

Friday, June 23, 2006

Really powerful stuff man!

"He who dwells in the secert place of the Most High Shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the Lord, "He is my reguge and my fortress; My God, in Him I will trust."
Surely He shall deliver you from the snare of the fowler And from the perilous pestilence. He shall cover you with His feathers, And under His wings you shall take refuge; His truth shall be your shield and buckler. You shall not be afraid of the terror by night, Nor the arrow that flies by day, Nor of the pestilence that walks in darkness, Nor of the the destruction that lays waste at noonday. A thousand may fall at your side And ten thousand at your right hand; But it shall not come near you. Only with your eyes shall you look, And see the reward of the wicked. Because you have made the Lord, who is my refuge, Even the Most High, your dwelling place, no evil shall befall you, Nor shall any plague come near your dwelling; For He shall give His angels charge over you, to keep you in all your ways, In thier hands they shall bear you up, lest you dash your foot agianst a stone..."
It keeps going on like this for several more lines!! What power and Love that God has for us!!
Love ya'll

Friday, May 19, 2006

Polishing up my armor

Starting to get back into the word. I've been under alot of spiritual attacks lately, and figured I need to do some damage repair. Angie told me a verse that really helped me to get started,
2 Chronicles 16:9
"For the eyes of the Lord run to and fro throughout the whole earth to show Himself strong on behalf of those whose heart is loyal to Him." It was very impowering, I suddenly felt as though I could do anything, because God is there for me!
anyway, going start putting more verses up and reading more.
Love ya all

Thursday, April 27, 2006

Jube as a Chiuaua!!


It's high time a picked up my sword and told satan were to stick it! He has been hounding me like no other, and I was about to give in. Now he's gonna get it! I'm gonna kick his sorry a** right back to hell. I will beat this thing, I will fight it. Or go out in a blaze of glory ;)
Just keep me in your prayers
I love you all.

Wednesday, April 12, 2006

Growing pains

As the title would suggest, I'm having some spiritual growing pains. Stuggleing to try and connect with God on a higher level, to grow. Slowly getting there. Been playing worship music allllll day, and feelin it! Trying to get into the Word, I read just the other day, I was going to read today, but opted for worship in my car between classes. I'm forceing myself to think to God as often as I remember. I think it's working. I keep thinking of all the blessings and things God has done for me, and how good He is. And it takes my breath away, and for that moment I feel Him smiling at my efforts with sooo much love it hurts and it makes me want more! It's too much and NEVER enough!!

On another note.... I got accepted to St. Mary's!

Friday, March 17, 2006

Tee Hee! Us as ponies!